Yoga is evil: my experience

A year ago, I was out of the country, a new friend of mine was jobless and asked me to help her get a job, She had a PhD in sports science and an MBA. The immediately striking thing about her was that she was extremely beautiful, her presence was super charming.

She was a mixture of Black, Egyptian and Caucasian, tall and had all the curves in all the right places. But she appeared relatively dumb and makes you wonder why she is unable to use her many degrees to make money or at least secure her self a job.

We got talk and during the month she invited me to a small club she was running, according to her, it was just a small yoga gathering where people just copy her yoga postures as she does them. She holds the small gathering only once per month when the moon is full and the night is bright. This lady was way too beautiful, i don’t believe there is any man on earth that can resist a yoga invitation from her.

So, I opted to attend, note that she didn’t invite me, she just told me that that’s what she does to pass time while waiting for a job. She told me the date and said the location was at the beach behind the hotel she stays. Follow me on medium.com/@davepartner Bro, I don’t give a damn if she jobless at that point, all I knew at that point was that I wanted to do yoga. She told me that she charges $200 as a monthly subscription fee from people that want to attend the class.

That was about 75k naira, it didn’t move me. I was willing to even pay $2,000 for the yoga class. Yoga is really good for your mind and body, and you know no amount is too big to invest in your health. On the D-day, I boarded Uber to the city center, the location was at the backyard of a 5-star hotel, Radisson Blu hotel. The hotel was built for the rich, everything inside was reflecting the gold color.

To get to the beach at the back, you had to pass through the car park where there were the most expensive cars in the world, then the lobby with them Gucci desks and seats, then through the magnificent hallways. I bursted out at the back where there were all sorts of mini water falls and swimming pools of different shapes. From that point onwards, I could hear the smooth voice of that lady on a megaphone giving yoga instructions.

The guard that was leading me from the lobby led me to the beach at the back. We met another guard that collected my payment of the equivalent of $200, recorded my name, phone number and email, then gave me a tag before allowing us to proceed.

It was a long beautiful stretch of sand, the moon was brightly out in the skies and the view was amazing. When I turned left, behold ladies and gentlemen, there was a large crowd of mostly young men doing yoga, the curvy lady was in front doing the yoga. My brother, e shock me.

So, I climbed the pavement and quickly counted the rows and multiplied it by the columns, there were roughly 4,000 people there. Then I multiplied 4,000 by $200 each plus my own $200 they have already used the same yoga format to chop. That was when I realized the use of a PhD in sports science coupled with an MBA. See, since that day, I hate Yoga, all those stupid weird postures remind me of my lost $200. Yoga is evil.

E pain me.

Follow me on medium.com/@davepartner